Don't Forget to Remember This

I've been spending a lot of time at home alone lately because Josh has been on a big repair job at work which has led to a ton of overtime. He gets up at 4 in the morning and doesn't get home until 6:30 (or later), six days a week. As for me, I've been keeping myself busy: I've gotten my work done in record time, my cooking skills have reached a whole new level (that even includes lasagna), I've read four books (and counting), I painted the guest bathroom and unclogged the bathtub, and the laundry never piles up to more than one load. I don't mind the solitude, I've always been a bit of a loaner anyway, but by the time Saturday rolls around, even I get a little tired being by myself. My husband is my best friend in the whole entire world and only getting two to three hours with him a day is just not enough time. Never mind the fact that I just spent five days in Oregon for a bunch of photo session and have plenty of my own work to keep me busy, it's still torture to be apart from him so much! I would take those two hours with him over none any day. :) But I am so proud of him for all his hard work and, as always, am amazed by his positive attitude during such a grueling schedule. All of this crazy overtime that he's been putting in has allowed us to pay off a lot of debt very quickly. I am so thankful for how selfless Josh is with his hard earned money. Never once has he tried to keep that money for himself or to use it for only things that he has wanted. No, he truly treats it as OUR money and uses it to pay off OUR debt (which is literally HALF mine from before we were married). And even when I tell him that he can buy himself something, he refuses, because he wants us to keep paying off that debt. I'm pretty sure that is the definition of selflessness. And that's why I just had to buy him a new Xbox One. He's been wanting one ever since they came out but has resisted buying one because he didn't want to spend money on it when we could put that money towards debt. But since he's been working 80 hour weeks, I thought he deserved it, and after seeing the smile on his face when he opened that box, I know I made the right decision. :)

And so, I'm writing this down in my blog. Not to boast or brag or anything like that, but just to have it saved somewhere so that someday down the line, when Josh is playing too much Xbox and I'm feeling neglected, I can have this as a reminder to myself of WHY we have that XBox. Because my husband is the hardest working man I know, because he doesn't complain about the early mornings and long days, because he gives so freely, because he does his work with pride and integrity, because he's supporting our dreams and goals, because he's still so thankful for my meager paycheck and is so appreciative of the work I do around the house, because he never holds money against me, never uses it to control me, never makes me feel like it's only his... because he is the most amazing provider of a husband that I could have ever hoped for and I am so incredibly thankful for him and all that he does for me, for us, for our future. And so to my future self, if I ever reach the point where I'm frustrated that he fell asleep, again, BEFORE dinner or that he seems to want to play NFL Madden more than talk to me, remember this feeling of deep and endless gratitude that you have felt and let your husband sleep, let him play, let him be... and just be grateful for all that he does and has done for you.