Of Angels

I have always been a firm believer in angels. When I was younger, I used to ask my gardian angel to help me get to sleep when I was scared of the dark and imagining monsters in my closet, alligators under my bed, or bad guys outside my window (usually I was imagining all three, at the same time). I was felt a comforting presence whenever I asked for this, not knowing that I was actually praying. I have even had the most horrific nightmares about demons and evil spirits attacking me, only to be awaken by a protective spirit banishing them from me (multiple times, different scenarios, different times in my life, I'm sure a psychiatrist would have a ton to say about this). I can hear the soughing  I see your eyes rolling, but I don't care. I know that angels are there. I have heard Gabriel.

I also believe that sometimes God uses people as his "angels". That He sometimes calls on ordinary people to do something beyond themselves to help His children in times of need. Like Mark Tucker, the driver in the car behind me when my car spun out and I went off the bank of a mountain pass and was trapped in my car and he pried the door open for me to finally get out and I launched myself into his arms and he just held me. Some people may say that he was just a nice guy but I know in my heart of heart that he was in the exact right place at the exact right time because that's where God needed him to be. For me. And although I have been ever thankful for what Mark Tucker did in stopping to help me that day, I didn't fully understand or appreciate it for the miracle that it was. Not then. Not until today. But today I understand. Because today, I was called upon to do this for someone else. Through no strength of my own, through no desire within myself, I was in the right place at the right time to be there for someone, a stranger, during an extraordinary situation where they needed a little extra support.

I don't share this because I think that what I did was anything spectacular or even all that helpful really. But I know that I was somewhere specifically because God so designed it because He knew I could make things easier on someone else. It was hard and it was scary and I wanted to run away but there was something inside of me that made me realize that I needed to keep it together so I could help this person. (I'm sorry, even as I read this back to myself, I realize it sounds way dramatic and I'm not trying to make it seem so extraordinary, I'm really just trying to work this all out for myself so try to think of this blog entry as more for my sanity's sake and not for actual reader information or content.) I'm glad that I was able to be there, I'm glad I could be of use, I know that I was appreciated and that's nice... but what I find so amazing is that I feel like God is grateful, like He appreciates being able to use me to help someone. (Does that sound crazy?) It's incredible. This whole day has just been incredible and crazy and not at all like I thought it was going to be when I woke up this morning.

I'm so exhausted. Completely drained. I don't want to ever have to experience again what I experienced this morning... but I do hope and pray that I can be used time and time again by God to help others.