Sometimes

Sometimes I get insecure. Okay, lets be honest, a lot of times. Sometimes I spend too much time looking at other photographer's work and I can't help but think that I'm just not as good as they are. I enjoy looking at other people's work because I love to be inspired by them, I love to learn from them and feel challenged by them. But sometimes the insecurities creep in and instead of feeling encouraged by other's work, I find myself comparing my work to theirs... and I always find myself lacking. Every time I send off my work to clients, I hold my breath, waiting for their response, sure that they're going to ask why I'm not as good as other photographers that they've seen. My greatest fear is that my clients will be disappointed in their decision to hire me. Sometimes that fear is crippling. When I get an e-mail from a client after they've seen their pictures, I won't open it right away because I don't want to know if they aren't happy. Seriously. It took me two days to open Carrie's e-mail after I posted her wedding on my blog... and when I finally clicked the e-mail open, I read it quickly, through the corner of one eye, ready to sprint away and hide in the closet if she was as unsatisfied as I'm sure she was to be... and then I read it again because it said this:

"Bethany,

 

I just wanted to send you a quick thank you.

 

The pictures are incredible - we couldn't be happier. I have the blog up on my work computer and keep distracting myself looking at the pictures and rereading what you wrote.

 

Thank you!

Carrie"

Oh. Did you hear my sigh of relief people??? Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't think I'm a good photographer... it's just that I'm worried I'm not good enough. But then I get e-mails like that from one of my amazing clients and I see random things like this on Pinterest: 

and suddenly I'm reminded that I got the one thing that none of all the "better" photographer got... ME. And so I just got to let myself learn and grow and continue to be inspired and challenged by others and to stop limiting myself by getting caught up in the comparison. I hope all y'all do the same. :-)